MrMaidz
by TheLegitBella4realz
Summary: Bella iz totes a vampr naow nd idk y butt she iz naow a MrMaidz! OMG!
1. 1

**Wht ^ prsun rdng diz! Mah nme iz Nikki Starr nd diz iz mah 1zt Fikki! #IKnowRite?! NE wayz I kno u gyyz r guna hve da bezt tim rdng diz so njoy beotch! Spezial tnks 2 mah editur brittani- beotch u r totz amazeballlz!**

Mi nme iz Bella Swn nd mi day 2day has totes sucked mgrly #ThisSux #FML. I meen... I knw dat I wnte vampr nd all butt dang! Duh chnge hurtz! I dn't rlly remembr wht hppned; 1 mment Eddi wuz fghting Viktoriuh nd da nxt sum1 had totes grabed mi from b-hind nd duh dude bitted me! #ouch #WTF #RUDE! Dah brning fling strtd asafp aft-r. Uv corze Eddi klled duh vampr tht did diz 2 mi butt nt b4 da venm ade dugh way 2 mah hrt #BadTiming #Ouch #NotFun! #Whtevr

Prt of mi wuz totes ngry dat it iznt Edwurdz venomnomnom rnning thru mi vins bt 2 b totes sriuz wit u guyz... Dat dude wuz tking 4 freakin evr 2 chnge mi #Rude #WTF #WHYYYYY. Hi wnted me 2 mrry him b4 he wuld chnge mi evn if I totes hate bng tld wht 2 do. #rude #ImABoss. Edwurd wold hve find a way 2 nawt chnge mi NEWayz. #Whatevs. Eddi, totes lst hiz mrblez whn he seeen dat I wuz chnging nd cldn't dew NEThng abt it. #Sux4him! He clled hiz shmexy daddy ovr nd 2gethr dey tuk mi 2 da Cullnz houze nd bitted mi a few moar tmes 2 hury ^ da chnge. #Painful #ForReal #IHateThis #HottNHerrrrr (Haha cuz itz brningggg)

Sew her I am hangn on da bedd n duh Cullnz Houze nd brning frum duh nsid outt #Lame #StawpIttt #Painful. #Ugh. Diz sux sew badddd (geddit? Cuz I'm a vamper nd I sux pplz blud!). May-b I shldnt cumplain, Momzey alwaz tld mi dat pain iz buuuty nd I am totes gunna b 1 of da must butefull ppl n da wurld- I mean diz ntire twn iz totes in lurve wit mi NEWay, I totes cnt w8 2 c hw obzessed dey r gunna b whn dey c mi lookng swe hawtt n sexxayyy... #IKnowRight?

Da venm in my veans strted 2 brn wrse & wrse til it totes stped & den I waz felling no payn. In fakt... I totes felt amazeballllz... I opned mah eyz & hld mahself up w/ mah hands; I mved sooo qick dat I srsly gt a lil dzzy. #Woah.

Eddi tched mi urm (#hot #shmixy) 2 stdy mi & I waz lust in hez eyz,"U r zooooo butefull," he sed, string mah obvi hotnez

"I wnt 2 c!" I ylld, jmpng 2 mah ft & asap runng n 2 Alize how wz crrying a mrrurr. Wht I saw wuz... OMG teh mst butiful thng I hd evr cn. #IAmSoGorgeousItHurts. I min, I ddnt evn rlly chnge much, bt I nvr relized hw butefull I wz b4! I gess itz hrd 2 mprve prfetion. I sighd #mostbeautifulsighever rlling mah eyz #mostbeautifuleyesever as I ran my fingers #mostbeautifulhandsever through my herrr #mostbeautifulhairever & playd w/ da lushus lox! #heehee #lovemi #ujelly

"Dood I m totes thurzty," I sed a I flt a brnng n mah nek."Uh... K? I cn tke u hintng," Edwurd sed, hldng mi hnd #hessoromantic & hi lead mi 2 da opn wndo. Da foorust went pst uz n we speeded threw da trez, nethr ov uz mkng a sewnd az we runned 2gethr. I stpd 4 a mmnt, luking att da butefull wy mah neww skn sprkld in da sn. Edwurd luuked bk 2 c wht wuz kepng mi & he totes runned fce-1st n2 a tre. #OMGHilariousright... I now it wznt da ncst thng 4 mi 2 doo, bt I codnt hlp it. I LOLd mi por bf how ws rbng da tre brk ot of hz herrr.

"U thnk dis iz fune?" He aksed, glring at mi a lil az he wlkd 2wurds mi. Dis totes shmexyyy hunk wuz teh immuge uv a dedly hntr & he totes mde mi ded hrt sng a bt. I new he waz abt 2 ponce on mi for sum sexxxxay tme (I men luuk att mi! #Modelstatus I would totes pounce on mi if I was him #IWouldSoGoLezzoForMe) bt I asap jmpd 2 mi feat & runned 2wurds da totes amazeballlls smll dat waz in da errr. I runned & runned nowng dat Eddi wuz folowng mi, & folowed mah noz 2 teh edg of da clifs whr I hd jmped lst summr. I tok a dep breth & dived hed 1st n2 da h20 (c wht I did thre? #SuchANerd #IAmTotesBrill) nt curing dat Edwurd wuz stil chasng mi bt totes neading 2 swim 4 som rezon.

Da wtr flt totes amazeballllls on mah skn, bt duh clthz I wuz wring seamd 2 w8 mi dwn. #Gross #GettinNekkid. I w8 no tim rpping off duh shrt nd bra tht I wuz wring bt whn I reechd dwn 2 tke off mah jeenz I flt sumthng a totes wierd...

Wher dere wer 1ce legs dere wuz now a soopr shinni & gls10ing prpl tail cuvred n sprklez dat gls10ed undur da watr. WT eff? I hnstly dn't evn geddit. Wht dah fuq iz hppning 2 mi? #WTF

**Sew? U guyz totes luv it, #AmIRite? I cn't w8 2 hear hw #Awesome U guyz thnk I am! Bt NO HATRZ! #AintNobodyGotTimeFoThat**


	2. 2

**A/N:** KK pplz sooo my editur (AKA my BFFFAOOL (Bst frnd 4Evah 4 all oru lves!)) namd Brittni iz totes ot uv the cntry (in MILAN! #Iamsototesjelly) so plz ignor n/e smll grmmr prblms u mite see! #oops #enjoythestory

**Disclaimer: I soooo totes do NT wn Twilight, HairyPottur or NE of itz yummi karacterz! **

Evn tho I ddnt need 2 brthe mah humn nstinkts totes sed i did in nd I swum 4 duh top of da wtr, chking on h20 (haha c wht i dd dere?) tht I had drnk. #Disgusting. It like totes tstd wrse cming up den it had gong dwn. #gross

Whn I got 2 da top I herd Edwurrd ylling mah nme frum da laft nd I trned 2 c wht he wuz shting abt. "Bella! R u k?" Y r u swmmng whn u shld be hnting?" He ylled dwn 2 me 4m da edg uv da kliff, lking dwn n angr nd lkng at wht I wuz wring (or rther wht I wuznt wering ROFLMAO #Naked #Haha). "Whre r ur clthes?" #RUDE!

I totes ignred tht, I obvi haz moar 2 dal wiz thn clthing (#SadDayCuzITotesLuvClothes) or NEthng… "Wlll u cme dwn her plz? I hve smething 2 shw u…"

"Her? Bellz, thts sooo inapropez." #Prudeeee

"Jst gt dwn hre plz!" I shted up 2 im, totes strting 2 loze patente w/ da stoopid sprkling vampy abve m3. LOL

NEwayz- Ed totes c me up nd strted 2 sez

"Bellz wht iz goin on hre.. We totes dnt hve tme 4 g mes & stuffz... Bt-"

I totes cut hm of there #hetalks2much #Annoying #StillNaked

"OMG Ed like loooookkkkkk! I hve a lke totes fabo tail nd it mkes m3 evn seksier thn i lredy am" #andthatshardtodo

Ed lik totes agreeed nd gt a bner nd w3 hd like amazee sexytimes! #EddieIsHawtForAVirgin #MOARNOW #SoMuchFun

So thn we defo ran in2 like a lrg prblm: I cld not tlk! I totes sang EVRYTHaNG! Wit a yumilicious singing vice if i do sez sew mahs3lf #teehee

Anywhoozles Eddy boy totes clled hiz d-liciously sexxxxiii dddy nd he totes cme 2 c wht we wer tlking abt.

Carli (my nickyname 4 him ;) ) wlkd up 2 chk n meh

"Carli! W3 needz ur hlp!" I sung

"Bell snging?" h3 azkd sexaly

"I defo cnt stop sngng & i hve a tael Carli!" I sng buttifally

Aftr I sungd hiz nme hiz i'z gt big nd thn... He clmed n tup of mi nd wii strted 2 hav seksitimes 2! #hottie #SexxiDaddiRox

Till Ed totes interrupted us nd rooned our mgic mment... #cockblockedbymybf

**ikno u guiz totz luv dah stori so revew! Nd plz no moar mean rveawz, sum of u wer totz jeally of me nd pstd sum #MEAN revewz! #Haters #YouGuysAreMean**


	3. 3

**Wht ^ Readurzzzz! diz iz chaptur 3 nd I totez thnk u giyz wll totes thnk itz ginna b #amazeballlllllllzzzzz #ForReal #YouKnowIt #BestChapterEver! Nd guise wht? u giyz totes gt 2 meat dat dumb-dor giy n duh nd uv duh chap #YAYYYY #HairyPottrRox! **

"Bellz! Wht r u doin wit mi dad?!" Edwurd scrmd lukn totez mad.

"Oooh Daddi carli! moar," I scrmed as me licced mah boobz. It totes falt #Amazeballs fo realz. Eddie'z sexxay daddi totes smild at mi nd kpt gong. Sexxay daddi totes knowz wht hez doin cauz man... #Hott #Sexxay #ILoveIt #IWantMoar

"Crlile? Wht da fuq r u doooin?" A vice sed frum up da bach. It wuz Ezmi!

"Oh may gawd Ezziy I am totes sry, carli cme 2 hlp mi nd we r now gettn r sexxay on!" I sng nd watcheed az a dreemi luk crozed ezzie;s fce. Gurlfrnd flooted ovr nd kneeeld dwn nxt 2 Carli nd strtd 2 jin n wit uz. #Hawttt #UJelly #DntHateMeCuzUAintMe #3Way

"Wht the hll iz every1 doin? Datz mi wife! Y r u guyz dooin diz? I lurve her!" Eddie ylld, gettn moar pizzed.

"Y rnt u joing uz?" Ezme askd az zhe rly got n2 it. Idk if i hd evr flt diz gud n mi livez. #SoSexxay

Eddi luld totz pizzed b4 hi totez rn sumwhr. #WTF #SoAngry #WhySoSerious

sexxay daddi srugd 4b whipng hiz shrt of nd hz pntz nd hlpng sexxay ezzi tke hr drez off n hr shos nd hr pntiez n hr hedbnd. it wuz totz zwet of hm 2 hlp hr ott. It wuz soopr #Hawt whn daddi carli stuk hiz uknowht n mah uknowher #OMG #Huge #SoooSexy #Threeway #ILoveIt

It wuznt lung b4 sexxi tme wuz ntorrruptedd bi eddi wit sum dood n a soopr crzy coat thng it wuz lik blk nd sht nd idk y bt hi huz hldng sum stoopid stk thng nd yllng sum sooper stooopd srds tht IDK Wht dey wer.

"Abruh kadubruh!" duh old dood ylld b4 sum totez blu lite sht frum duh mgk stik. WTF IZ HPPNNG?!

**Swe? it wuz #TotesBrill, #AmIRight? I totes am! U giyz zhld totes lve mi sum gud cmmntz bcuz diz waz duh bst chptur EVR! Nd no mre meen cmmntz- I kno u giyz r totez jelly uf mi, u dnt hve 2 b meen! o pz idk y ppl r cllng mi TROLL i thnk U R DUH TROLL! #Hurtful #DontHateMeCauseYouAintMe #HaterzGonnaHate #IKnowYoureJelly**


	4. 4

**Wht ^ Readurzzzz! diz iz chaptur 4 nd I totez thnk u giyz wll totes thnk itz ginna b #amazeballlllllllzzzzz #ForReal #YouKnowIt #BestChapterEver! Nd guise wht? u giyz totes gt 2 meat dat dumb-dor giy n duh nd uv duh chap #YAYYYY #HairyPottrRox! Pz. U guiz have ben totes #Rude #Mean #Hateful #Hurtful N ur cmmentz. WTF Guiz? I kno u r lik totez jelly bt dnt b meen! #NoMoreHaterzzz**

**Prevziez on MrMaiudz:**

"Bellz! Wht r u doin wit mi dad?!" Edwurd scrmd lukn totez mad.

"Oooh Daddi carli! moar," I scrmed as me licced mah boobz. It totes falt #Amazeballs fo realz. Eddie'z sexxay daddi totes smild at mi nd kpt gong. Sexxay daddi totes knowz wht hez doin cauz man... #Hott #Sexxay #ILoveIt #IWantMoar

"Crlile? Wht da fuq r u doooin?" A vice sed frum up da bach. It wuz Ezmi!

"Oh may gawd Ezziy I am totes sry, carli cme 2 hlp mi nd we r now gettn r sexxay on!" I sng nd watcheed az a dreemi luk crozed ezzie;s fce. Gurlfrnd flooted ovr nd kneeeld dwn nxt 2 Carli nd strtd 2 jin n wit uz. #Hawttt #UJelly #DntHateMeCuzUAintMe #3Way

"Wht the hll iz every1 doin? Datz mi wife! Y r u guyz dooin diz? I lurve her!" Eddie ylld, gettn moar pizzed.

"Y rnt u joing uz?" Ezme askd az zhe rly got n2 it. Idk if i hd evr flt diz gud n mi livez. #SoSexxay

Eddi luld totz pizzed b4 hi totez rn sumwhr. #WTF #SoAngry #WhySoSerious

sexxay daddi srugd 4b whipng hiz shrt of nd hz pntz nd hlpng sexxay ezzi tke hr drez off n hr shos nd hr pntiez n hr hedbnd. it wuz totz zwet of hm 2 hlp hr ott. It wuz soopr #Hawt whn daddi carli stuk hiz uknowht n mah uknowher #OMG #Huge #SoooSexy #Threeway #ILoveIt

It wuznt lung b4 sexxi tme wuz ntorrruptedd bi eddi wit sum dood n a soopr crzy coat thng it wuz lik blk nd sht nd idk y bt hi huz hldng sum stoopid stk thng nd yllng sum sooper stooopd srds tht IDK Wht dey wer.

"Abruh kadubruh!" duh old dood ylld b4 sum totez blu lite sht frum duh mgk stik. WTF IZ HPPNNG?!

**Swe? it wuz #TotesBrill, #AmIRight? I totes am! U giyz zhld totes lve mi sum gud cmmntz bcuz diz waz duh bst chptur EVR! Nd no mre meen cmmntz- I kno u giyz r totez jelly uf mi, u dnt hve 2 b meen! o pz idk y ppl r cllng mi TROLL i thnk U R DUH TROLL! #Hurtful #DontHateMeCauseYouAintMe #HaterzGonnaHate #IKnowYoureJelly**


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